Hooray For Literary Trash
Yes, I carried Dickens around in my schoolbag, and I was madly in love with Jane Austen when I was nine. But don’t go thinking I was some sort of esoteric wunderkind. Oh, no. I loved the trash books. In fact, I have just as many fond memories of trash books as I do of the Books That Changed My Life.
My strongest love affair with trash had to be the Sweet Valley High series. I was mad for these, gobbling them up like candy. I was totally obsessed. I still remember every single book began the exact same way: Jessica and Elizabeth were sixteen year old twins, with honey colored skin, blue-green eyes, and sun-kissed hair. They were both a perfect size six. Pretty close to that, anyway.
Remember what a jerk Bruce was? How he ditched Robin at the school dance that time, just because she was fat, and then she started exercising and like two chapters later, was thin and sexy and even made the evil Bruce drool?
And how about that dreamy Todd? Lucky Elizabeth! But remember when she rode on his motorcycle and she fell off and hit her head and her personality got all slutty? Oh no! Luckily, she hit her head again and went back to normal.
But the biggest, baddest SVH cliffhanger of them all was when Elizabeth Got Kidnapped. Ohmygosh Ohmygosh, what would happen? Would she get hurt? Ohmygoshohmygosh!
I thought I would die from suspense waiting for book #13 to come out so I could learn Elizabeth’s fate. My friend Gina got the first copy of all of us, at her slumber party on her birthday. After she fell asleep, I snuck it out of the present pile and read it in one sitting. I about burst with not telling everybody the next morning that Elizabeth was okay. Oh my gosh!
Ah, memories. I would love to find one of those original SVH books and read it again. Or maybe I should just keep my recollections rosy-colored.
‘Fess up, now: what trash do you love?
3 Comments
Lol, this entry was a lot of fun, although I never read a Sweet Valley High book in my life. My daughter went through a stage of loving them, though. Just reading your entry reminded me of things she used to say about the books.
I can’t think that I have a particular kind of trash that I like reading, but I will read nearly anything, especially if that’s all there is. I’ve read several of the Mills & Boon stories when they give them away. I didn’t mind their Suspense or Intrigue line, forgotten what it was called. They were pretty good value.
That was until I read a real doozie and wrote to them and complained about the lack of foreshadowing, the convenient lead pipes hanging around and the glaring mistake they made with the murderer’s identity. Argh!
They wrote back to me, sent me five more free books, which I read, but I never did pick up another. Can’t think why.
Haha! I actually didn’t read SVH, but looooved the TV series!! I remembered setting my alarm to 10:50 every Sunday (I was always a late sleeper) so I wouldn’t miss it.
As far as the books, though, I was completely obsessed with Sweet Valley University! Those were good times
Romance novels were my trash, especially Barbara Cartland. Sure wish someone had introduced me to Austen when I was reading back then. I didn’t find out about her until college!